Family Matters

A Message from Lord Pickles and Lord Blunkett, followed by Family Matters's best practice article

The ability to listen and learn from one another has always been vital in parliament, in business and in most aspects of daily life. But at this particular moment in time, as national and global events continue to reiterate, it is uncommonly crucial that we forge new channels of communication and reinforce existing ones. The following article from Family Matters is an attempt to do just that. We would welcome your thoughts on this or any other Parliamentary Review article.

Blunkett signature Rt Hon The Lord David Blunkett
Pickles signature Rt Hon The Lord Eric Pickles

www.familymattersuk.org

THE PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW
Highlighting best practice
THE PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW
Highlighting best practice
56 | FAMILY MATTERS
FM’s head office, Wrotham
Road
CEO Mary Trevillion with
some of the team
Family Matters has been offering counselling and support
services to survivors of sexual abuse for more than 25 years.
The specialised charity is the largest provider of childhood
sexual abuse and rape therapy in the country. Working across
Kent, West Mercia, Telford and southeast London, the service
helps more than 4,000 people every year. CEO Mary Trevillion
tells
TheParliamentary Review
about the charity’s history and
the work of its dedicated, outstanding team.
Family Matters was founded in 1990 by a group of dedicated volunteers and
survivors of sexual assault. This coincided with the first signs of public recognition
of the existence of childhood sexual abuse.
The principles of Family Matters were then, as they are now, “to relieve the mental
and physical distress of those who have suffered the consequences of childhood
sexual abuse and rape”. This service extends to carers, partners and other non-
abusing family members. FM also has a remit to heighten awareness of sexual
abuse and rape through education and training.
Our charity has grown from its small beginnings in 1990 to include family members
as well as survivors of sexual violence and rape. Our professional and ethical
development has run parallel to that of the world of counselling and we now have
a considerable number of therapists on our books. We also run one of the few
national helplines dealing specifically with sexual abuse and rape.
We work across Kent and in three London boroughs, as well as West Mercia and
Telford. Our head office is in Gravesend, where a number of dedicated staff work
FACTS ABOUT
FAMILY MATTERS
»CEO: Mary Trevillion
»Founded in 1990
»Located in Gravesend,
working across Kent, West
Mercia and Telford
»Services: Support for survivors
of abuse and rape
»No. of employees: 30
Family Matters
BEST PRACTICE SPONSOR 2020
THE PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW
Highlighting best practice
56 | FAMILY MATTERS
FM’s head office, Wrotham
Road
CEO Mary Trevillion with
some of the team
Family Matters has been offering counselling and support
services to survivors of sexual abuse for more than 25 years.
The specialised charity is the largest provider of childhood
sexual abuse and rape therapy in the country. Working across
Kent, West Mercia, Telford and southeast London, the service
helps more than 4,000 people every year. CEO Mary Trevillion
tells
TheParliamentary Review
about the charity’s history and
the work of its dedicated, outstanding team.
Family Matters was founded in 1990 by a group of dedicated volunteers and
survivors of sexual assault. This coincided with the first signs of public recognition
of the existence of childhood sexual abuse.
The principles of Family Matters were then, as they are now, “to relieve the mental
and physical distress of those who have suffered the consequences of childhood
sexual abuse and rape”. This service extends to carers, partners and other non-
abusing family members. FM also has a remit to heighten awareness of sexual
abuse and rape through education and training.
Our charity has grown from its small beginnings in 1990 to include family members
as well as survivors of sexual violence and rape. Our professional and ethical
development has run parallel to that of the world of counselling and we now have
a considerable number of therapists on our books. We also run one of the few
national helplines dealing specifically with sexual abuse and rape.
We work across Kent and in three London boroughs, as well as West Mercia and
Telford. Our head office is in Gravesend, where a number of dedicated staff work
FACTS ABOUT
FAMILY MATTERS
»CEO: Mary Trevillion
»Founded in 1990
»Located in Gravesend,
working across Kent, West
Mercia and Telford
»Services: Support for survivors
of abuse and rape
»No. of employees: 30
Family Matters
57FAMILY MATTERS |
HEALTH & SOCIAL WORK
hard to administrate the many aspects
of the charity and its work.
Since our inception, we have expanded
to provide Independent Sexual Violence
Advisors and Children’s Independent
Sexual Violence Advisors. These
members of staff work within a multi-
agency setting to provide a proactive
service to adult and child survivors of
sexual violence and rape within and
outside of the criminal justice system.
Our main duties are to assess the
risks of any given situation in order
to establish the safety of our clients,
develop an individual service plan to
address risk, and support the needs of
the client.
Many survivors are extremely vulnerable
people and therefore the court system
is set up to provide some safety during
the criminal trial period. These special
measures are tailored to the individual,
and may include screening during
the court process, video link or access
through the judge’s chamber.
We are one of the largest providers
of support in Kent. We are unique in
the sense that we offer an all-inclusive
service and we see boys, men, children
and adults. We know that male
rape and sexual violence, like female
violence, is under-reported; making
funding available for women and girls
has a profound effect on males and
sends out a message that all men
are perpetrators, or that men do not
getraped.
Unique approach
We provide outreach work venues
across the county, allowing people to
pop into a local high street location
rather than having to revisit a sexual
assault service. This allows us to
maintain the survivor’s anonymity, and
to help them access help, especially
when they often do not want to travel
miles to see someone, or go back to the
place where the forensic examination
took place, as we understand that this
can further traumatise them.
Here at FM we have always seen
boys and men, and we have found
that funding or indeed services that
discriminate against male victims have
a profound effect not just on them but
on their reporting in general. We feel
we need a more robust and dedicated
commitment to helping male survivors.
Mental health support
Studies suggest that 80 per cent of
teenage girls suffer from serious mental
illness after a sexual assault. We have
found significant association between
poor mental health and our clients who
have been sexually assaulted or raped,
One-to-one therapy
The principles
of Family
Matters were
then, as they
are now, “to
relieve the
mental and
physical distress
of those who
have suffered
the
consequences
of childhood
sexual abuse
and rape
THE PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW
Highlighting best practice
THE PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW
Highlighting best practice
58 | FAMILY MATTERS
Review of
Parliament
Thousands gathered
in Parliament Square
to celebrate the UK’s
departure from the EU
“We’re out”
“The British people have spoken,” said the
affable BBC anchorman, David Dimbleby,
“and the answer is: we’reout.”
This was just after 5am on the morning
of Friday, June 24, 2016.
In the end, it took three years, seven
months, seven days and eighteen hours.
It took three prime ministers. Two general
elections. It took, shock-of-shocks,
two
hosts of the BBC’s Question Time. Yes,
dear old Dimbleby himself, who had
chaired that veritable feast of Thursday-
night verbal flagellation since 1994, left
the hotseat a full year before Britain finally
left the European Union. But it did happen.
At 11pm on January 31, 2020, Britain
ceased to be an EU country. The EU was
now comprised of 27 member states rather
than 28. And although, with a transition
period in place, little else of substance
had changed, there was no doubting the
historic significance of the moment.
Addressing the nation from Downing
Street, the prime minister spoke of the
dawn of a new era and the potential for
meaningful and far reaching change:
“This is not an end but a beginning. This
is the moment the dawn breaks and
the curtain goes up on a new act in our
great nationaldrama.”
He spoke about the opportunities
this moment would provide, such as
controlling immigration, creating free
ports, “liberating” our fishing industry,
doing free trade deals or “simply making
our rules and laws for the benefit of the
people of this country.”
A cricket ball’s throw away in Parliament
Square, thousands gathered for a Brexit
party, fronted by The Brexit Party. This
nascent political grouping, not yet a
year old, appeared pretty pleased with
themselves as they swayed and crooned
with the crowd. In winning May’s
European elections, they had precipitated
Theresa May’s departure, ensured her
successor was a paid-up Leave supporter,
and had helped make Brexit a reality.
In a statement, MrsMay declared that
“after more than three years, we can
finally say we have delivered on the
result of the 2016 referendum and have
kept faith with the Britishpeople.”
Outgoing Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn
said: “Britain’s place in the world will
change. The question is what direction
we now take. Wecan build a truly
internationalist, diverse and outward-
looking Britain. Or we can turn inwards,
and trade our principles, rights and
standards to secure hastily arranged,
one-sided, race-to-the-bottom trade
deals with Donald Trump and others.”
Speaking for the EU, Michel Barnier
expressed his sadness, while Donald Tusk
said: “My dear British friends. We were, we
are, and we will always be a community.
And no Brexit will ever change that.”
And so with a mix of jubilation,
apprehension and sadness, the words
spoken by David Dimbleby in the early
hours of June 24, 2016 were now a
reality. We were out.
including men. Our clients often suffer
from post-traumatic stress disorder,
poor sleep patterns and nightmares
to name just a few of the conditions.
During this time, they are often
diagnosed with a recognised mental
health problem, when often it is the
trauma that needs to beaddressed.
Our overall demand is increasing – year-
on-year we support over 4,000 clients.
Politically, FM is at the mercy of individual
governments and what they consider their
priority. One government may commit
one year to funding for sexual abuse
and rape support, while another may
not make it its priority. Over the years
FM has had to shrink in order to survive.
Still we do not receive enough statutory
funding to enable us to see everyone on
our waiting list. We are thankful to the
Lottery a great deal of the time.
The future of our support
We would like to see agencies such as
FM receive statutory funding, to enable
us to plan and invest in staff for the
future. We would like to see everyone
earlier and for longer periods, to have
the staff to increase our preventative
work alongside additional funding for
ongoing training.
We would also like to see every child
irrespective of background receive
education good touch, bad touch
relative to their age. If we are serious
about stamping out abuse, we must
educate everyone to know what is
acceptable and what is not.
I would like to see the government do
more to make this happen, instead of
relying on parents and faith leaders to
address this issue.
We are also incredibly grateful to all our
funders, especially the National Lottery
and police crime commissioners
They have been instrumental in helping
us, to not only continue to run our
services, but to expand as well.
The situation will not change unless we
do something radical. DBS checks and
references will not and do not address
the situation. We spend money after
the event but we need to spend more
on prevention and on the survivors to
makechange.
Year-on-year,
we support
over 4,000
clients
»SOME OF OUR AIMS AND OBJECTIVES
»To provide immediate intervention on behalf of children,
adolescents and adults who are suffering the aftermath of recent
or historical abuse and/or rape
»To restore personal esteem, replace dysfunctional behaviour,
correct mistaken beliefs about self and others, repair self-
destructive behaviour, encourage positive mental attitudes and
enable the survivors of abuse to live worthwhile and fulfilling lives
»To prevent scapegoating and rejection
»To avoid in or outpatient psychiatric care and prevent relapse
»To prevent future dysfunctional family dynamics which may lead to
abusive behaviour by positively enhancing good parenting skills and
preventing further abuse
»To break the cycle of abuse
National Citizen Service, where children raised money for
charities and drew a picture for us to show appreciation
FM staff and family at
the PCC’s open day

www.familymattersuk.org

This article was sponsored by Family Matters. The Parliamentary Review is wholly funded by the representatives who write for it. The publication in which this article originally appeared contained the following foreword from Rt Hon Elizabeth Truss.

Rt Hon Elizabeth Truss's Foreword For The Parliamentary Review

By Rt Hon Elizabeth Truss

Even by the standards of the day –this has been one of the most exciting and unpredictable years in British politics.

The leadership election we’ve just seen marks a huge moment in our country’s history. This government is taking a decisive new direction, embracing the opportunities of Brexit and preparing our country to flourish outside the EU.

As international trade secretary, I’ll be driving forward work on the free trade agreements that are going to be a priority for the government. Free trade isn’t just an abstract concept bandied around by technocrats. It is crucial for a strong economy and for the ability of families to make ends meet. Free trade benefits people in every part of our country, as British firms export to new markets and people doing the weekly shop have access to a wider choice of goods at lower prices.

The essence of free trade is in the title: freedom. It’s about giving people the power to exchange their goods without heavy government taxation or interference. Commerce and free exchange are the engine room of prosperity and social mobility. I’m determined to tackle the forces who want to hold that back.

One of my priorities is agreeing an exciting new free trade deal with the US, building on the great relationship between our two countries and the Prime Minister and US President. But I’ll also be talking to other partners including New Zealand, Australia and fast-growing Asian markets.

And with the EU too, we want a friendly and constructive relationship, as constitutional equals, and as friends and partners in facing the challenges that lie ahead – a relationship based on a deep free trade agreement. Our country produces some of the world’s most successful exports, and the opportunity to bring these to the rest of the world should make us all excited about the future. It is this excitement, optimism and ambition which I believe will come to define this government.

For too long now, we have been told Britain isn’t big or important enough to survive outside the EU – that we have to accept a deal that reflects our reduced circumstances. I say that’s rubbish. With the right policies in place, we can be the most competitive, free-thinking, prosperous nation on Earth exporting to the world and leading in new developments like AI. To do that, we’ll give the brilliant next generation of entrepreneurs the tools they need to succeed. Since 2015, there has been a staggering 85 per cent rise in the number of businesses set up by 18 to 24 year olds – twice the level set up by the same age group in France and Germany. We’ll help them flourish by championing enterprise, cutting taxes and making regulation flexible and responsive to their needs.

As we do that, we’ll level up and unite all parts of the UK with great transport links, fibre broadband in every home and proper school funding, so everyone shares in our country’s success.

2019 has been the year of brewing economic and political revolution. 2020 will be the year when a revitalised Conservative government turbo charges the economy, boosts prospects for people across the country, and catapults Britain back to the forefront of the world stage.



Rt Hon Elizabeth Truss
Secretary of State for International Development